Parts Inside You'd Rather Hide (The Power of Shame, and How to Beat It)
Internal work is important. I think we can all agree. Sometimes, the most important work can feel raw and scary; like we're suddenly too exposed by our own awareness. Like someone else will be able to see those pieces of us, just because we've looked at them ourselves.
There are parts of our personalities that carry the beliefs and qualities that, instinctually, we'd rather run from. They often don't feel safe to acknowledge - they're vulnerable spots in an otherwise strong exterior. Those of us that search for answers inside of ourselves always encounter these scary parts eventually. I've noticed, through my personal digging and through partnering with my clients, that these beliefs are almost always coated with an oily feeling that intensifies fear and keeps things hidden. That feeling is shame.
OH, SHAME. Shame shame shame. It's sticky and thick like honey, causing gut sickness and fear. We avert our eyes, trying to pretend that it isn't there. And as a result, we ignore the piece of us it covers. We can't actually be that tiny, cowering child, can we?? We keep up a front that we convince ourselves is the whole picture, sometimes for our own sake. Stuffing the scary feelings down deep feels like our only choice.
This instinct to protect and ignore serves a purpose. But the child doesn’t disappear when stuffed away somewhere.
It feels counter-intuitive to turn and face what we're hidden away. The shame intensifies our fear. If we could just outrun it, we would be free of it, right?
WRONG!! WOMP WOMP! :)
You can't run from yourself! That part of you might feel impossible to face, but I'm here to tell you, you can do it. And you should. You can trust that even the scary parts won't be scary forever. You could even...I don't know...love them and understand them someday.
Bare with me - this might cause some resistance. I've found, through my own experiences, those little parts inside feel uniquely terrible and embarrassing and weak to all of us. We feel alone in our hidden thoughts and shame. I'm here to tell you - you aren’t alone! Everyone has their version of the same thing, regardless of how put together they may seem. I also understand how scary it can be to turn and look.
To finally feel relief, to feel whole, you must face and embrace what you keep in the dark. You must look at that child with compassion and curiosity, to get to know why they carry those beliefs and how long they've been there. All of the answers are inside of you - you need only ask. And just remember, you don't have to go it alone. I'm here to guide you.
What sort of resistance emerges? Are you curious to dig in deeper? Reach out, I’m curious. I welcome every part of you and I pledge hold the space you need, judgment free. Because when someone did that for me, it changed my life.